Robot scorpion Walt Disney slowly turned in a circle, drinking in the chaos he’d created. Another peal of laugher erupted from his speakers.
Disney reached down with one of his massive metallic claws and began picking up cobblestones and hurling them at fleeing tourists.
One man fell as the stone missile collided with his head, then another crumpled after being caught between the shoulder blades.
Though few had the composure to notice, the carnage in Red Square had an odd, yet familiar, soundtrack.
As he worked, Disney hummed along with the tune playing from his tail: “It’s a world of laughter and a world of tears …
“It’s a world of hope and a world of fears …” Disney’s tail lashed out, obliterating a pirozhki cart. “It’s a small world after all!”
Disney was about to hurl a matryoshka doll stand at the GUM shopping arcade when the heard the Fetid Lord’s voice in his head.
“Enough play, Mouse King—destroy the tomb!” Instantly, Disney spun around and hurled the doll stand at Lenin’s mausoleum.
But before it could strike the tomb’s entrance, an anti-tank missile streaked across the sky and hit it, causing a cascade of wooden dolls.
As Disney turned to see the source of the missile, two more landed within a few meters of him, their explosions nearly toppling him over.
Ropes uncoiled from the Krokodil’s side door; Murder Cat, Black Ops, and Toki rappelled to the ground, landing in their fighting stances.
Instantly, Murder Cat charged the giant robot scorpion, leaping into the air to slash at Disney’s glass-encased, partially frozen head.
But Disney was too fast, punching Murder Cat with one of his giant claws and throwing the massive feline sideways.
Murder Cat hit the ground, rolled, and was immediately up on his feet. “That was stupid,” he growled to himself. “Strategy, not strength.”
Brap-brap-brap-brap! Snowy unleashed a torrent of machine gun fire from the helicopter’s chin gun, raking the ground around Disney.
Suddenly the War Bear cried out in pain and clutched her head with both paws. The helicopter spun wildly and began losing altitude.
Putin looked out the window and saw Arianna Huffington standing on the roof of a Lada, fingers on her temples, staring at the chopper.
“Paul!” Putin shouted, “Stop her!” He grabbed the control stick and wrestled the Krokodil back to a stable hover.
Paul leapt out of the helicopter in his walking suit, landing with a heavy thud. He inhaled sharply and directed a massive psychic punch.
Arianna doubled over, but was not down long. She glared at Paul and unleashed a telekinetic blow that he only narrowly avoided.
Putin looked down from the cockpit and saw other members of the Order running to join the fray. He smiled and tore off his shirt.