A Siberian tiger released into the wild by Russian President Vladimir Putin is the main suspect in a series of goat deaths in China’s northeast, state media reported Chinese local authorities as saying on Tuesday.
Siberian tiger experts have pegged Ustin, one of three tigers freed by Putin, as the killer of two goats, the official Xinhua news agency said.
Three goats are still missing.
While the mainstream media is reporting that these majestic creatures simply flew off course, we can report the truth of their anomalous appearance in Siberia. These flamingos had learned of the glorious exploits of the Putin Pals, and were attempting to volunteer their services, just as Peaches and Herb did. Unfortunately, the Fortress of Opulence is nearly impossible to locate, and thus the flamingos were stranded. Caring yet misguided fishermen “rescued” the flamingoes before their search for Putin and his glorious band of fighting friends could be located.
You can read the “official” story on the Siberian Times website.
There is an action figure of Putin riding a Bear. What else do you need to know?
Via: Dangerous Minds