Week 113

Inside the Ixion, the Red Tsar’s entourage crowded around the ultra-thin viewscreen facing the water, watching the projection from outside.

The Fetid Lord himself sat unmoving in his seat, looking neither right nor left.

“Oh my!” George Takei exclaimed as Mila drove the Phenom into the monastery wall. There was silence as they watched the flames.

“What about the Poodle?” the Red Tsar asked, without looking at the others. “She dropped it into the lake,” Arianna Huffington replied.

Their leader nodded. “A mistake,” he rasped. “A demonstration of spite. If she’d kept the animal with her, it would surely have died.”

“Excuse me, Your Heinous, but could we discuss our next move?” Antonosky asked peevishly. “Apparently, this is a Mantis landing pad.

“And when Mantis lands, they’ll be landing on top of US. We should get out.” “Out?” Cheney sneered. “Out there? And then what?”

“That’s what I’m asking!” Antonosky snapped. “Then what?!” “Wait,” said Kanye, “are Mantis and Cthulu supposed to destroy each other here?”

“While we take Putin,” Huffington nodded. “But I don’t see Mantis OR Cthulu,” Kanye said, watching as flaming monks ran toward the water.

“They’ll be here,” the Red Tsar said. “That’s what I’m saying!” Antonosky exclaimed. “They’ll BE here, and they’ll be right on top of US!”

“There goes something else into the water,” George Takei announced as they watched Putin’s K-7 swing low over the inland sea.

“Saving the dog,” the Red Tsar said. “Should have kept it with her.” “I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE DOG! WE HAVE TO GET OUT!” Antonosky shouted.

Their leader emitted a horrendous odor of displeasure. “Kill him,” he said.

Kanye drew his machete and stepped obediently forward, toward the doctor. “What? No! Wait!” Antonosky cried.

“Pardon, mein Fetidness,” Kissinger said smoothly, “but we must keep the doctor alive if we are to complete the Putin transfer.”

The Red Tsar’s stench increased. George Takei was afraid he would be sick. “Kill someone else then,” their leader said petulantly.

With a bow, Kissinger reached behind one of the seats, pulled out a sawed-off shotgun, and shot Cheney in the face through his gimp mask.

“Damn! That’s some hardcore irony right there,” Kanye announced to no one in particular. Takei threw up a little in his mouth.

“Deploy our forces,” the Red Tsar commanded. “At once,” Kissinger replied, bowing again. “Takei, Yeezy, take the rocket launcher.

“Doctor, take Der Stalin to a safe place and prepare for the transfer. Huffington, come with me—I’ll want psychic intel during the battle.”

Solemnly, Kissinger raised his hand and gave the sign of the Order. Then he turned to lead them out of the plane.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *