Week 114

Outside, Snowy paused. She heard static, then Putin’s voice in her earpiece: “Draw them away from the K-7. Take the fight to land.”

The War Bear looked to the shore and saw that beneath the crumbling temple stood a towering statue of a strange, tentacled creature.

She fired a burst of machine gun fire at the effigy to test the monks’ response. They howled in rage. Perfect. “MC, follow me!”

Murder Cat rushed out of the K-7 in his own battle mech, and the two brave warriors sped toward the shore. The monks advanced to meet them.

The Pals landed behind the statue’s base as the monks raced along the shore toward the massive effigy. “Hold,” commanded Snowy.

Hundreds of monks charged, a hundred yards away. “Hold.” 50 yards. “Hooold!” 30. “Now!” Snowy blasted into the air, launching at the statue.

Murder Cat followed an instant later, and the two lowered their shoulders, slamming into the towering statue like two linebackers.

A deafening crack rent the air. The monks looked up in horror as a shadow washed over them, the colossus swaying back and forth.

Gradually the statue settled back into place. Hovering in the air, Snowy and Murder Cat looked down at the outraged devotees of Cthulu.

Suddenly, an explosion erupted from Snowy’s back and she plummeted to the ground. Before Murder Cat could react, an explosion dropped him.

From a distant plateau, George Takei lowered his rocket launcher. “Well done,” said Kissinger. “Thank you, sir,” replied Takei.

Pushing up onto her forepaws, Snowy heard a chipper female voice say, “Armor damaged, power source damaged, weapons offline. Good luck!”

“Black Ops has to change that stupid voice,” Snowy thought. She shook her head and looked around: Crazed monks amid fiery bits of debris.

Men with shaved heads hefted hunks of stone. Murder Cat was still down, but rousing himself. Snowy rose and assumed a defensive stance.

An army of lunatics desperate to die versus two Putin Pals wearing damaged armor. Snowy smiled. At least it would be a fair fight.

Murder Cat stood and slowly backed toward Snowy. The War Bear half turned toward her comrade, “Morning, Sunshine. Ready for breakfast?”

The big tiger merely flipped up his visor and yawned as if waking from a long nap. “You want to call for backup?” asked Snowy. “Nope.”

The monks surged forward en masse, clawing and biting, tearing each other apart and attacking with the limbs of their fallen brothers.

Snatching up flaming wreckage, dozens of monks set themselves ablaze and screamed prayers to Cthulu as they attacked.

Snowy and Murder Cat fought masterfully, but the sheer number of assailants and their maniacal savagery threatened to overwhelm the Pals.

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