Week 70

“I grow weary of your failures, Yeezus. You preen and strut, you challenge your elders at this very table, and yet you fail us.”

The Red Tsar’s voice was flat, without emotion. It was a sign that he was furious. In this mood, there was no predicting his actions.

“Fetid Lord, you a god, I’m a god, everything I do, everything I say, is equal to what I bring to this family,” Kanye West replied.

“We all know I’m the most exciting, the most impactful, the most creative member here. I’m the heir to Warhol.”

“How dare you!” interrupted robot scorpion Walt Disney. “You’ve not debased American culture half as much as the Plastic Man did!”

Disney swung his tail toward Kanye, bringing the speaker on its telson within inches of Yeezy’s face.

“Warhol never failed us, not one mission. You couldn’t even interrogate an invalid! And why did you fail? Because of a mosquito!”

“It was a monster!” blurted Kanye indignantly, his face hot, eyes bulging. “Don’t you judge me, Mouse! None of you could have succeeded!”

At the beginning of the Order’s meeting, Kanye had told his story of the kaiju mosquito’s attack, but the other members were incredulous.

Though Mantis was a known threat, the Order had not encountered Hive forces for thousands of years, and details of its agents were scarce.

Trying to defend himself, Kanye seized on this truth. “None of you know! None of you were there. I’m the only one who saw it!

“That thing burst through the hospital wall like it was paper! At first I thought it was Guy Fieri, but then I saw its nose was too big.”

“Mmmh mhm mmhh hmm,” Cheney said. Kissinger unzipped the mouth of his gimp mask. “Thank you, Henry. But Yeezy, why did you kill Depardieu?”

Kanye paused. He would not admit the killing was an accident, a reaction to being terrified, would not admit it even to himself.

“There was no reason to make him talk. He was already talking to that tiger nurse like they knew each other. That tiger spoke Belgian!

“Most likely Putin staged the attack himself, to train his animals. I killed Depardieu to send a message!”

“Likely staged, yes. But now we don’t know for sure, do we?” asked Kissinger. “We are an organization that prefers certitude to assumptions.

“Now we have only your assessment to rely on, only your story. There were no other witnesses, correct? Just you, the tiger, and the nurse?”

Kanye paused and looked at Kissenger. He never knew when the old master strategist was leading him into a trap. Did he know …?

Of course, Dr. Antonovsky had been there, but he’d made Kanye swear secrecy, and Kanye was in his debt. But if the Order already knew …

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *